Dear Hazel,
My husband and I were having sex and it was pretty hot and heavy. Our seven year old daughter walked in and caught us in a very compromising position. She didn't run out of the room. Instead she walked right up to the bed and asked if she could watch television. Stunned and not knowing what else to say, I just nodded my head.
I wanted to stop having sex at that moment but my husband insisted that we continue since our daughter had already seen us and she was now distracted by the television.
Since that dreadful night, my daughter has not asked any questions about what she saw nor has she made any comments about it. We have not yet had "the talk" with her and I'm not sure if she even understands what was happening.
Should I approach her about the incident or should I wait until she asks?
F.D. in Virginia
Dear F.D.
Chances are if your daughter has not asked any questions or her behavior toward you or your husband has not changed in any way, she does not know what she witnessed.
But be mindful, children oft times remember things that parents wished they would forget. Don't be surprised if she repeats this scenario to someone else, like grandma.
Start the talk soon without getting too deep into it. Even though kids are growing up faster these days, it is still a little early. Find out what she knows about her body and a little about where babies come from. Remember, take your cues from her. Listen and allow her to ask questions. The questions she asks will alert you to what she knows already and what she is ready to hear. Creating an open dialogue now is a great way to keep the lines of communication open when she becomes a teenager and really has questions.
Hazel Mills, author
www.hazelmillsstories.com
www.xpressyourselfpublishing.org
Got questions about love, relationships or sex for Hazel's HOTmail? E-mail them to hazelmillsstories@hotmail.com. Your question, initials and state will be published along with Hazel's answer.
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Xpress Yourself Publishing is the African American Literary Awards Show 2008 Independent Publisher of the Year, and an English-language publisher headquartered in Upper Marlboro, Maryland. The house of ESSENCE® best-selling authors, Xpress Yourself Publishing is a minority- and woman-owned company publishing ficton, non-fiction and self-help books. Visit us online at www.XpressYourselfPublishing.com, where dreams are turned into reality!
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Monday, August 18, 2008
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