Dear Hazel,
My husband and I were having sex and it was pretty hot and heavy. Our seven year old daughter walked in and caught us in a very compromising position. She didn't run out of the room. Instead she walked right up to the bed and asked if she could watch television. Stunned and not knowing what else to say, I just nodded my head.
I wanted to stop having sex at that moment but my husband insisted that we continue since our daughter had already seen us and she was now distracted by the television.
Since that dreadful night, my daughter has not asked any questions about what she saw nor has she made any comments about it. We have not yet had "the talk" with her and I'm not sure if she even understands what was happening.
Should I approach her about the incident or should I wait until she asks?
F.D. in Virginia
Dear F.D.
Chances are if your daughter has not asked any questions or her behavior toward you or your husband has not changed in any way, she does not know what she witnessed.
But be mindful, children oft times remember things that parents wished they would forget. Don't be surprised if she repeats this scenario to someone else, like grandma.
Start the talk soon without getting too deep into it. Even though kids are growing up faster these days, it is still a little early. Find out what she knows about her body and a little about where babies come from. Remember, take your cues from her. Listen and allow her to ask questions. The questions she asks will alert you to what she knows already and what she is ready to hear. Creating an open dialogue now is a great way to keep the lines of communication open when she becomes a teenager and really has questions.
Hazel Mills, author
www.hazelmillsstories.com
www.xpressyourselfpublishing.org
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ReplyDeleteYou may also want to have a talk with your husband...whether your 7 year old knew what she was witnessing or not, it makes me uncomfortable that he was willing and able to continue in her presence. While the writer seems worried, she sounded powerless to stop her husband from continuing.
ReplyDeleteThat concerns me more than anything - children stumble into the room, but how parents handle it is fundamental. And his choice to continue with her right there watching television and the writer's compliance is something that needs to be addressed, some kinda way (not sure how).
Chloe, I agree with you wholeheartedly. Although the writer didn't say whether or not the daughter left the room to watch television, for God sake, let's hope she did. I would hate to think that a mother would even consider continuing having sex with her child sitting right there.
ReplyDeleteI, too, hope the child went to another room to watch television. I'd hate to think the parents continued having sex while she was in the room.
ReplyDeleteI think you gave the mother great advice, Hazel!
Linda R. Herman
www.lindarherman.com
You must remember, children minds are like computers.What they see, they remember. At some point, she will see something that will trigger events from the visit to your bedroom. Be prepared to answer her questions at the level she asks. Next time, tell the brotha to use common sense and think about the child and not his urges!!!!
ReplyDelete