Easier to Find One When You Have One...

It's easier to find one when you already have one...

I've heard this expression used in connection with jobs. People say that it is easier to find a job when you already have one - which is true - but why is that true? Is it because you're not in a state of desperation. Is it because when you go hunting for a job, you don't necessarily need it (since you already have one) but it would be okay if you got it? Can employers since your desperation when you're completely jobless? Do they have the upper hand?

Recently, I've heard the same expression (It's easier to find one when you already have one) used concerning relationships in conjunction with this expression: Nobody wants someone that no one else wants.

Really? So is all hope lost for single people who are looking for suitable mates? Do men look at a women and NOT want them because, presumably, no one else wants her so why should he? Do men think that the woman has some flaw that other men loathed, and therefore she wouldn't be a suitable mate for him? Or is it true - that men want a woman that other men want.

You could conclude this in Reggie's case. In my new novel, Another Man's Treasure, his single, best friend Tiphani (pronounced Tiffany) is very much in love with him. He knows this, but he doesn't want to act on those feelings until he sees her with another man. An act of jealousy or an act of love? You be the judge.

Another Man's Treasure is available for Pre-Order now at www.xpressyourselfpublishing.com for 20% off.

From Victim to Survivor, I did it and you can too!

Domestic abuse, also known asspousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence.
Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his or her thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you.
Please recognize the signs of abuse.

But, there is help and HOPE.
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at:
1-800-799-7233 or visit them online @ http://www.ndvh.org/
Safe Horizon http://www.safehorizion.org/
Love Is Not Abuse http://www.loveisnotabuse.org/
For local help in Asheville, NC visit, http://www.helpmateonline.org/ , they also have links to other agencies around the country.
For the legal help you'll need contact, http://www.womenslaw.org/
And when women say, "But, I'm staying for the children." Don't! The abuse you endure affects them too.

Again, if you are being abused please get help. Despite what many people believe, domestic violence and abuse is not due to the abuser’s loss of control over his or her behavior. In fact, abusive behavior and violence is a deliberate choice made by the abuser in order to control you.

If you are an abuser, you most definitely need to get help and there is help for you, too. Contact your local United Way 211, by dialing 211 from your landline, visiting http://211.org/ or dialing their national line from your mobile phone at 703.836.7112 and they well direct you to your local branch.

5 Secrets for Dating in The New Year

A New Year and a New You. Dating is as old as molasses; however, there are new ideas and perceptions when it comes to dating in this hi-tech day and age. Many are single or are recently getting out relationships and marriages. If you are just joining the dating scene as a woman, there are some important things to consider before you go on that first date.

1. Love Yourself First
If you are depressed or have low self-esteem, you need to deal with that immediately before you even think about entering the dating scene. Do not think that dating someone and searching for love is going to cure your low self-esteem or depression. It will not. In fact, getting involved with someone while you’re low on self-love may very well make you feel worse.

Don’t be so desperate to jump into a relationship, because when we are low on self-love, we sometimes have too many expectations of another, and we rely on someone else, like a man to make us feel loved. Men can sometimes notice these types of women. They are usually the ones who will go all out of their way to please a man’s every need, and will sleep with a man too quickly.

These men may very well take advantage of you, or say things that sound wonderful, but actually, they don’t really mean a word of it. It boils down to a man’s actions that will bring his true colors out. Always love yourself first. That is Rule #1. Loving yourself first is a beautiful quality that any real man will appreciate. Continue Reading by clicking here...



ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Tinisha Nicole Johnson is an author, writer, and poet. “5 Secrets for Dating in the New Year” is based off her non-fiction, self-help book Lessons Learned: Loving Yourself as a Black Woman. Tinisha also hosts political and sports teleconferences as a profession. Learn more and connect with the author at her website: www.tinishanicolejohnson.com

Stayed tuned to Tinisha's April Virtual Book Tour….Visit her website to check out where she'll be…More information to come…

Live Your Best Life!

A Tell All Book That Has Black Women Living A More Passionate and Fulfilling Life

Xpress Yourself Publishing announces the release of Lessons Learned: Loving Yourself As A Black Woman by Denver, Colorado author Tinisha Nicole Johnson.

Statistics for black women range from status in careers, single parenting, and negative relationships with black men, to name a few. They are the minority of the minority and are put into a stand-alone category, facing challenges that other races of women may never face. Lessons Learned: Loving Yourself As A Black Woman is a revolutionary book into the culture of Black women, revealing how to live a more passionate and fulfilling life, as well as addressing key issues such as self-worth, the definition of true happiness, and the five most common types of Black women.

Tanya White, empowerment speaker, life enhancement strategist, relationship coach, and author of Girl, You Can Win! says, “Lessons Learned serves as the medicine that heals the women stuck in their past failures, the motivation that encourages women to overcome their present fears and the inspiration women need to position themselves for a productive future.”

Tinisha is taking a stand by introducing to Black women a new way of thinking that has people talking and women everywhere viewing life in a different light.

Tinisha will appear at the All-Star Author Showcase hosted by The Black Academy of Arts and Letters being held on Saturday, February 13, 2010, from 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM CT, at the Dallas Convention Center Theater Complex, 650 South Griffin Street, Dallas, Texas 75202.

On Monday, February 22, 2010, Tinisha will speak at Page-Walker Arts & History Center, 119 Ambassador Loop, Cary, North Carolina 27512, from 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM EST.

Tinisha Nicole Johnson is an author of several published titles, freelance writer, poet and public speaker residing in Denver, Colorado. She holds an Associates Degree in Business Studies, a Paralegal Certificate and a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Management. To learn more about Tinisha, visit http://www.tinishanicolejohnson.com/.

For more information, to schedule an interview or appearance, please call Jessica Tilles at (301) 390-3645 or email JTilles@aol.com.