Is It Cheaper to Keep Him?

Why do wives stay married to husbands who cheat? I often ponder over the question now, although years ago I was once what I now call a victim of circumstance. I loved his dirty draws, but now can't understand to save my life why a woman would remain in a relationship with an unloyal spouse. At times I ask "what are their reasons?" I thought it was "love." I was stripped of all dignity, had low self-esteem, was unhappy, lonely, isolated, but in love. . . or so I thought. Could the reasons be they are blaming themselves for gaining a few extra pounds over the years? Are there uncertainties as to whether or not they are giving enough of themselves? Enough sex, enough attention, enough emotional support. No really, how much is enough? And last, the questions most wives do not want answered. "Will he leave me if I ask him to stop cheating?" Because I know for sure he is definitely cheating. And the ultimate question. "Will I be able to survive without his financial support?" The last one is usually the "kicker" and a prime reason to throw in the towel on talking to him about giving up his lover. Despite the fact that extramarital affairs are risque, they destroy the close bond in marriages, and they are just plain wrong; some men still choose to tarry off to the hotel with "Dynamite Dinah" for a night of resounding bliss and pleasure while their wives are stuck at home with the kids. Bless their poor souls. I guess these guys haven't read what the Bible says about fornication. What is my opinion now? Stand up to the "Cheatin' Charlies" and give them an ultimatum. Let her go or pack your bags and "you go". Until more women start standing up to their men, expressing their feelings, and putting. . . no, stomping their feet down on cheating husbands (and that goes for the wives, too), the saga of infidelity will go on and on until infinity.

Reflections of a Quiet Storm
In my novel, Reflections of a Quiet Storm, relationships, social issues and faith are the driving forces behind this story. After a near fatal accident, the main character, Pauline Bridges, begins to reflect back on her past through memories and dreams. A series of stories occur that deal with childhood through adulthood. One of her many dreams pertains to her troubled marriage to her unfaithful husband, Naman. Sparks fly and the heat ignites when years later, she discovers her friend, Vangie, has been having an affair with another friend's husband. She is torn between telling her friend, Bethany, about the relationship or remaining quiet to avoid hurting her friend and to avoid being involved in a nasty love triangle. When Keith Maris steps into Pauline's life, the turbulence begins to subside. Her faith in God and his support are key factors that help her get through the storms that arise.

Excerpt - Reflections of a Quiet Storm
By 7:30 p.m., the party was in full swing. After a bit of socialization, the caterer served dinner. There was a nice crowd of fifteen people, but still no Vangie or Keith anywhere in sight. When 8:00 rolled around, Pauline started to wonder if they’d make it. While Pauline was in the middle of a conversation with her friend Greta, the doorbell rang. Pauline answered the door and there stood Keith, looking as good as ever. He had a red rose and a bottle of wine in hand. Looking at Pauline, he smiled and lightly kissed her lips.

“I’m sorry I’m late.”

“Don’t worry about it. I think almost everybody here was late, including the caterer and the bartender.”

“Here’s a little something for you,” he said, handing her a red rose and a chilled bottle of wine.

“How nice. Thank you.” Pauline introduced Keith to several of her friends and fixed him a plate.“What would you like to drink?” she asked him.

“Well, I don’t really drink, just an occasional glass of wine to be sociable,” Keith replied.

“I don’t drink either, just sparkling apple juice. The strongest beverage here is wine, and that’s only because some of my friends drink.” They both laughed. Pauline grabbed her son as he was walking by.

“Damien, honey, I want you to meet a friend of mine. This is Keith. Keith, this is my son.”

“How are you, Damien?”

“Oh, I’m fine. Nice meeting you.”

“So, I heard you’re a nurse, too.”

“Oh yeah, I am. I haven’t been a nurse very long, though.”

“That’s okay. We all have to get experience. It’s a great field to be in,” Keith said.

With a nice upbeat song playing, the guests were feeling the groove and several were on the floor dancing─moving their bodies to the soulful, rhythmic sounds. Keith asked Pauline to dance, and they joined everyone else. So engrossed in their dance, Pauline didn’t hear the doorbell ring nor did she see Vangie and her guest enter the room. When Pauline finally spotted Vangie, she and a man with his back turned were standing in the kitchen socializing with other guests. Vangie was sharp, as usual, with her hair styled in pinned-up twisties and wearing a silk lavender pants set and a large pair of diamond studs. After the song ended, Pauline excused herself and walked over to greet Vangie and her guest.

“Girl, I’m sorry we’re late. Pauline, this is Julius.”

The nice looking man dressed in gray slacks and a nice gray and pink pullover sweater turned around, stunning Pauline. It was Darryl.

“Nice to meet you, Pauline,” Darryl said nervously.

“Julius, honey, are you all right? Vangie asked.

“Oh . . . yes, I’m okay,” he replied, taking a bite of food from the plate he was holding.

“Nice to meet you, too,” Pauline said, eyeing him suspiciously.

“I just love your house,” Vangie said.

“Thank you.”

“Where’s your bathroom?” Vangie asked. “I could hardly wait until we got here because I’ve needed to go for an hour.”

“Make a left, and it’s at the end of the hall.” When Vangie walked away, Pauline turned to Darryl and whispered, “Let’s go upstairs before she gets back. I need to talk to you now!”

Pauline pointed in the direction of the stairs that led to her home office, and Darryl followed her. Once they entered the office, Pauline closed the door behind them.

“What are you doing here with my friend?”

“How was I supposed to know Vangie is your friend?” he snapped.

“Oh, so you couldn’t put two and two together. I’m sure Bethany must have told you I live in Lake View Heights.”

“If she did, I don’t remember. And Vangie never mentioned your name. Pauline, please don’t say anything to Vangie,” he pleaded.

“Vangie? What about your wife? And what if she had shown up?” Pauline asked.

“Look, we better get back downstairs. Vangie is probably out of the bathroom by now.”

“You owe it to Vangie to tell her the truth. I’m sure she doesn’t know you’re married or that you’re a minister. I mean, does she even know your real name?”

“I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not like that. I met Vangie in Atlanta while I was there for a church convocation, and we’ve become good friends. My middle name is Julius,” Darryl said with a concerned look on his face.

“I don’t really care about where you met my friend, but I do care about you telling her the truth. I wouldn’t dare say anything to Bethany. She’s already been hurt once. I’ll just let you decide what to do about the matter since you've been through this before.”

“I’m not doing anything about the matter, and I would appreciate it if you would stay out of my business,” he said, frowning.

“Well, this conversation is over,” Pauline said, opening the door to her office.

Vangie had just reached the top of the stairs as Darryl and Pauline were exiting.

“I was just showing Darryl . . . I mean, Julius the house,” Pauline said.

“What do think of the house, honey?” Vangie asked.

“It’s very nice.”

“My house in Atlanta is nice, but it’s not this big. Julius is supposed to help me make plans to have a swimming pool installed in the backyard this summer, right, baby?” she said, looking at Darryl.

“Yeah, that’s right. Angel, let’s go back downstairs,” he said.

The sight of Darryl and Vangie together was more than repulsive. Pauline even thought of confronting Darryl in front of Vangie and exposing his little two-timing game. In the midst of it all, she couldn't figure out how Vangie, who was so hung up on dating wealthy men, had became involved with a married man with kids by his wife and a mistress. What monetary gain could she get from him? Now, Pauline had to decide whether or not to tell Vangie the truth or just leave the two of them alone. One thing she knew for sure was that she wouldn’t tell Bethany. At least not right away.

Patricia A. Bridewell, Author
Reflections of a Quiet Storm - Release date, March 10, 2009
Xpress Yourself Publishing
www.patriciabridewell.com