Hazel's HOTmail: Mama Gone Wild

Dear Hazel,
I am a 43 year old woman who has lived alone since I was 25. My father lost his battle with cancer two years ago and after his death, my mother moved in with me because she didn’t want to live alone. For the first year, my mom mourned my father almost every day and barely got out of bed. I tried to be understanding because after all, she had just lost the man she had spent the last 40 years with. I was so happy when she finally began getting out and meeting people but what I thought was a good thing has now turned into a nightmare for me.
My mother, who is 65 years old, has turned into a wild woman. She is dressing in a manner that I think is inappropriate for a woman her age and she is dating not one man, but two. When I try to talk to her about how wrong I think she is for dating two men at the same time, she reminds me that she is the mother and I need to remember my place.
Well, I have had enough! Two weeks ago, I was awakened by a frightening sound in the middle of the night. I thought something was terribly wrong with my mother. I called 9-1-1 and rushed across the hall to her room. When I opened the bedroom door, my mother and one of her “boyfriends” were having sex. I almost stroked out right there. I made the man get the hell out of my house. I was embarrassed when the paramedics arrived and I had to explain that it was a false alarm. My mother is angry with me because she says that I was disrespectful of her privacy. I explained that I don’t want her having men spending the night and having sex in my home. It’s not right and she didn’t raise me to believe any differently.
I love my mother and I am really trying very hard not to disrespect her but she needs to understand that I don’t like the way she is behaving in my home. We have always been close and I don’t this matter to jeopardize that.
How should I handle this?

P.S. in Texas

Dear P.S.,
First, you have my condolences on the death of your father. I know first hand how hard losing a parent can be. I want to also commend you for taking in your mother during this difficult time. Again, this is not always an easy thing to do especially when you have been used to living alone for so many years.
Now, for my advice. Well, my grandmother (God rest her soul) had a saying that I’ve found to be true. “Every grown person needs to have their own house.”
Your mother is right, you need to remember your place and not be disrespectful. But so should she. She is living in YOUR home and no matter how much she may disagree with your rules, she HAS to respect and abide by them. If she can’t, then it is time for her to move out of your house and into one of her own.
The closeness the two of you share should allow you to sit down and calmly discuss this problem like the adults you both are and to come to a reasonable solution that will make you both happy. You love each other and nothing will ever jeopardize that.
On a lighter note, stop the hate and give your mother a high-five for me. Sixty-five and still getting her groove on is an inspiration. However, there’s another difficult subject you should discuss with your mother. Is she is practicing safe sex and using a condom? Elderly people aren’t exempt from HIV.
Hazel Mills
www.hazelmillsstories.com
Got a question for Hazel on love, sex, and relationships? Email her at hazelmillsstories@hotmail.com. Remember to put Hazel’s HOTmail in the subject line.